Become a Better Man Through Systems Thinking

At the risk of sounding like a bunch of hype, I want to tell you…

…these are some of the most important words I’ve written to you.

If you’ve been around this thing called ‘life’ for some time, you’ve probably encountered, and engaged in some variation of linear thinking.

It’s easy to think, if you make each part of your life better, your overall results will improve.

• Better fitness = better life
• Better relationships = better life
• Better work = better life
• Better adventures = better life

Here’s the problem with that style of thinking.

Life doesn’t work that way.

That linear style of thinking is counter-productive.

Linear thinking assumes – incorrectly – that more fitness, better relationships, better work, and better adventures create a ‘better life’ the same.

Not even close.

You can have all those things, and more, and your life will likely perform worse overall.

Peter Drucker stated that there’s an enormous distinction between doing things right and doing the right things.

Dr. Russel Ackoff said, “the righter you do the wrong things, the wronger you become.”

So, what do we do instead of adopting the conventional mentality of linear thinking?

As this world has revealed to us many times, there’s not much good that can come from blindly following the crowd.

We must become Self-Gurus and think of our life as an integrated system (because it is).

Systems theory clearly defines that, it’s the way the parts of a system interact together – not how they act independently. This is what actually improves overall performance, creating a better life.

What the hell does all this mean?

Glad you asked… time to dive in.

Let’s reintroduce The 4 Power Pillars of The Committed Man’s Life.

• Strong Self
• Real Relationships
• Worthwhile Work
• Amazing Adventure

For quick context…

Strong Self has 3 essential components – forever fitness, nourishing nutrition, mindset mastery. System.

Real Relationships has 3 essential components – intimate relationship, family relationships, friend relationships. System.

Worthwhile Work has 3 essential components – current work, dream work, bridge work. System.

Amazing Adventure has 3 essential components – happy hobbies, local adventure, travel adventure. System.

Individually, strong self, real relationships, worthwhile work, and amazing adventure are necessary. However, none of them are sufficient on their own. All four must be present before life authentically increases and becomes better.

This is where the counter-intuitive nature of systems thinking can become very confusing.

The 4 Power Pillars are METHODS of creating a more valuable life. A more valuable life is what EMERGES when the 4 power pillars INTERACT together.

Stop. That’s important enough to read again.

What we may think of as “our life” is not independent of how we operate inside of strong self, real relationships, worthwhile work, and amazing adventure. Instead, our INCREASED LIFE emerges from the way those 4 power pillars interact.

If we take away one of the power pillars, a more vakuable life disappears.

It’s the way the pillars fit together that determine the performance of a man’s life, not how they perform separately.

This means, it’s impossible for each pillar to be “optimized” separately without having an affect on the entire system, and consequently, the EMERGENT behavior of your life.

An example that will drive this point home…

Man X has his strong self, real relationships, worthwhile work, and amazing adventure dialed in tight. Life is becoming more valuable in a beautiful way.

But then, with the greatest intentions, Man X diverts his attention:

• Job X offered me a “better” job than I have right now. Yeah, I’ll have to work a ton more and need to be on call whenever they want me, but the money is amazing. I already gave my notice and signed on with the new opportunity. Gonna have to put my fitness on hold for a bit.

or…

• Woman X is offering me something “better” than my Queen can at home. I sneak away every now and then to take her up on her offer. That moment is amazing. I still treat my Queen “great” when I’m home.

You get it, and you can probably guess what happens next…

Parts of the system perform ‘better’ – new excitement and increased ambition at work, more arousal and physical connection with the other woman – but the performance of your LIFE, as a whole, suffers.

Those diversions don’t convert to a better life.

Remember, the righter you do the wrong thing, the wronger you become.

Fortunately, there’s a better way. Much better.

First, we need a clear and precise definition of what “INCREASE” & “SUCCESS” look like for our lives as a whole.

For example, my life is increased and successful when I fully express each of my ETHICAL desires every week. (I have a list of these that get my attention DAILY)

For me, “increase & success” is a powerful distinction. There’s a massive difference between merely existing through another day, and actively applying my PURPOSE, FAITH, and GRATITUDE to mold each day to be how I want it. In my world, I know “increase and success” demand waking up every day and paying the rent that’s due (ie. taking intentional action).

Let me leave you with this…

Every change you make in your life will produce some kind of emergent results somewhere else in the system of pillars. A lot of times, one action will affect multiple pillars.

So, it’s important that we ask ourselves some “No BS” questions that can lead us to better decision-making and life opportunities.

Questions like:

• If I don’t take care of my body and mind EVERY DAY, what is the result of that going to be? Am I okay with that result?
• If I entertain this other woman, does that make me more of a man? Is it going to really make my life better?
• If I spend this extra 10 hours a week working, and sacrifice the adventure that I feel in my soul, am I going to fill fulfilled? We’re those extra 10 hours worth it?
• If I keep criticizing my Queen and wishing she would be different, am I contributing as a powerful man in this relationship?

These types of question can reveal deep insights into the integrity, character, and alignment that we’re operating with on a daily basis…

…only if we face the brutal truth.

There’s a lot here.

Systems thinking is the way forward from unnecessary turmoil and chaos.

Embrace it.

We are: The Committed!

Peace, truth, and love.